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Blog Entry

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Posted on: July 19, 2011 4:42 pm
Edited on: July 19, 2011 4:48 pm
 
Casting by Will Brinson, poster art by Ryan Wilson

We're more than four months into the lockout, which means, save the draft, more than four months without much to talk about, whether it be free agency, trades or the impending training camp battles.

So we've resorted to making stuff up. That's right, we've put our heads together for "LOCKOUT," an original motion picture* brought to you by the crack staff of the Eye on Football blog.

It has everything you've come to expect from a taut modern-day thriller ... save a few minor details. For example, there are no sympathetic figures, no strapping young male lead, no bombshell love interest and no clear storyline beyond "We want more money!" Other than that, we liken it to a cross between the Bourne vehicles and anything from the Coen brothers.
 
Okay, we've laid it on way too thick (we're blaming it on lockout fever; it was only a matter of time before we completely lost our minds). Conveniently ignoring that, we suspect that you may have your own thoughts about which actor should have been cast to portray the real-life lockout figures below. Consider this your chance to be a pretend casting director -- give us your suggestions in the comments. If nothing else, it'll take your mind off the fact that we're 126 days without football.  

You're welcome. (Click on the image to the right and the one below to make them bigger. Trust us, it's worth it.)



* This isn't quite true. The movie isn't scheduled for production and, in fact, we haven't even secured the funding for this film. To tell the truth, we're only as far as the make-believe casting and the movie poster. But you already knew that.

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Comments
hgtrerte
Since: Dec 2, 2011
Posted on: December 27, 2011 10:03 am
This comment has been removed.

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tomlye
Since: Nov 28, 2011
Posted on: November 30, 2011 9:28 am
This comment has been removed.

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Since: Aug 23, 2006
Posted on: July 23, 2011 6:59 pm
 

NFL Lockout: The Movie

There's an old saying back in Texas...you might've heard it here in Tennessee that goes "fool me once, shame on.... [teleprompter goes down]....shame on........you(?).........it fooled me once but you can't get fooled again".




Since: Feb 26, 2008
Posted on: July 20, 2011 11:52 pm
 

NFL Lockout: The Movie

How about Barak Hussein Obama as DeMORON Smith?? They're both union hacks and both will be out of a job soon. I know it would be too hard for someone as stupid as BO to actually memorize the lines, he'd definitely have to use a teleprompter on set, but that wouldn't be anything we're not all used to by now.



Since: Dec 27, 2007
Posted on: July 20, 2011 11:34 pm
 

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Denzel Washington just called. He said, hell no and stop harrassing me. Mike Freeman should be played by Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson sings and acts better than Freeman could ever write. Mike was in the Hangover and Freeman's writing resembles someone who has a hangover.

There are only 2 actors capable of playing the "authors". Beavis and Butthead.



Since: Dec 27, 2007
Posted on: July 20, 2011 11:24 pm
 

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Wow, they're worst at casting than writing. Who knew they could be worse at anything more than writing?

I'd say stick to your day jobs, but you shouldn't. Resign and go to Hollywood. You may have a future writing for shows like Keith Olbermann's Countdown(wherever its playing now) or if you're lucky Victorious.

We've put our heads together
Sorry, Dumb & Dumber was already made.



Since: Nov 29, 2009
Posted on: July 20, 2011 10:03 pm
 

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Jeeze . . . Seriously? Is this how bad it has gotten?



Since: Aug 6, 2010
Posted on: July 20, 2011 8:53 pm
 

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Anthony Anderson....wtf?



Since: Jun 20, 2011
Posted on: July 20, 2011 7:46 pm
 

NFL Lockout: The Movie

If Captain Kirk is in then I think we have ourselves a movie.

But somebody needs to play Brett Favre. Hasn't had much to do with the lockout but I think you need to fit him in somehow



Since: Nov 5, 2008
Posted on: July 20, 2011 7:45 pm
 

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Tom Brady as Tom Brady.


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