Blog Entry

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Posted on: July 19, 2011 4:42 pm
Edited on: July 19, 2011 4:48 pm
Casting by Will Brinson, poster art by Ryan Wilson

We're more than four months into the lockout, which means, save the draft, more than four months without much to talk about, whether it be free agency, trades or the impending training camp battles.

So we've resorted to making stuff up. That's right, we've put our heads together for "LOCKOUT," an original motion picture* brought to you by the crack staff of the Eye on Football blog.

It has everything you've come to expect from a taut modern-day thriller ... save a few minor details. For example, there are no sympathetic figures, no strapping young male lead, no bombshell love interest and no clear storyline beyond "We want more money!" Other than that, we liken it to a cross between the Bourne vehicles and anything from the Coen brothers.
Okay, we've laid it on way too thick (we're blaming it on lockout fever; it was only a matter of time before we completely lost our minds). Conveniently ignoring that, we suspect that you may have your own thoughts about which actor should have been cast to portray the real-life lockout figures below. Consider this your chance to be a pretend casting director -- give us your suggestions in the comments. If nothing else, it'll take your mind off the fact that we're 126 days without football.  

You're welcome. (Click on the image to the right and the one below to make them bigger. Trust us, it's worth it.)

* This isn't quite true. The movie isn't scheduled for production and, in fact, we haven't even secured the funding for this film. To tell the truth, we're only as far as the make-believe casting and the movie poster. But you already knew that.

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Since: Jan 6, 2009
Posted on: July 19, 2011 8:10 pm

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Forest Tony Romo

Herman Peyton Manning

Richard Simmons with a leach on his face as Drew Brees

Will I. Am with ladies sunglasses as Mike Tomlin

Bert Favre as Aaron Rogers

D Bo as James Harrison


Since: Sep 20, 2006
Posted on: July 19, 2011 7:37 pm

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Casting Peyton Manning as his conceited egotistical self is hilarious. But why would Mike Freeman be a character in this movie? Really? Talk about a nonfactor in the lockout story. You could cast a pile of smoldering trash as Mike Freemans articles.

Since: Dec 1, 2009
Posted on: July 19, 2011 7:07 pm

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Casting Bryan Cranston as Roger Goodell is inspired. One moment, he's bumf--- nuts, out of sheer desperation, the next he's Lois' sweet, willing b----, with a side of not yet entirely crushed grape nuts.

Since: May 18, 2011
Posted on: July 19, 2011 6:12 pm

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Almost perfect! Loved Hilary Swank as Tom Brady(although Justin Bieber might be more feminine, therefore arguably better)....How about Niedermayer from Animal House as Roger Goodell?

Since: Sep 5, 2006
Posted on: July 19, 2011 5:50 pm

NFL Lockout: The Movie

Decent, but let me re-cast this baby.
Joan Cusack as Peyton Manning.
Macauly Culkin as Drew Brees.
Corky from "Life Goes On" as Roger Goodell.
Whoopi Goldberg as Mike Freeam.
Webster as Dee Smith.
A pile of wax in a suit as Jerry Jones.
Hillary Swank as Tom Brady.

There. Isn't that better? You're welcome.

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of CBS Sports or