By Will Brinson

If you can't say something nice about the city where your opponent lives, don't say anything at all, right? That's the opposite of what Vikings defensive end Jared Allen did on KFAN-FM when previewing the upcoming Lions-Vikings matchup at Ford Field on Sunday.

Allen, instead of practicing the old "if you can't say something nice, don't say it all" move, said if he had to live in "gloomy" Detroit, he would "just drown myself in the river."

"I don't like going to Detroit," Allen said, per Justin Rogers of MLive.com. "I'll be honest, it's gloomy, it sucks. Everything is brown and then there is snow on the ground. There's like Brownstones everywhere and I'm like, 'Awesome.' I don't know, I couldn't do it. If I had to live in Detroit, I think I'd just drown myself in the river that was across the way.

"I'm not trying to be mean, but it's just depressing when I go there," he continued. "There's two cities like I don't go out to eat or don't do anything. It's Detroit and New Orleans. New Orleans looks like I'm driving through a third-world country every time I get off the plane, I'm like, 'Oh, flak jacket.' I'm trying to get down. I'm like, 'Ah, crap, I can't carry my gun here. This sucks.'"

Um, ouch? And, uh, really? Detroit and New Orleans are two major American cities ravaged by circumstances out of their control (economic meltdown and a natural disaster), and even if you don't like being there, at least just say "it's not my favorite city" or something.

Of course, Allen didn't stop there. He also said that the 7-5 Lions, going against the 2-10 Vikings, are "obviously struggling" and "ripe" for an upset.


"It's Vikings/Detroit, it's always a good game," Allen said. "They've got some talent, but they're obviously struggling. One of their best defensive players will be out, so I think it's ripe for the picking and we can go up there and get things done."

Vegas says the Vikings won't, as they're 7.5 dogs in Detroit (although several of our experts believe the Vikings cover), but that doesn't mean this can't be a good game.

What'll be interesting is how Jim Schwartz' team, currently on double-secret probation when it comes to doing stupid things on the football field, responds to some of Allen's comments. After all, he might just be trying to get in their heads by riling the team up and goading them into making

Just don't expect the fans -- and residents of Detroit -- to appreciate his motivational tactics.

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