Posted by Will Brinson

The midway point of the NFL is nearly upon us (or at least close) and it's time to start separating the contenders and the pretenders. Oh, and guessing who will sign Terrell Owens.

Does your team qualify for any and/or all of those things? Would you want your squad inking T.O.? Join Mike Freeman, Clark Judge, Pete Prisco, Josh Katzowitz, Ryan Wilson and myself Wednesday at 1 p.m. ET to discuss.

We'll also chat about whether Chris Johnson can get things going against defensively incapable Colts, if the Steelers can keep their strong roll going against a team in the Patriots that's had their number recently and everything Week 8 related.



For more NFL news, rumors and analysis, follow @EyeOnNFL on Twitter, subscribe to our NFL newsletter, and while you're add it, add our RSS Feed.

Posted by Will Brinson



Every week, our NFL experts will hand out the Eye on Football hardware to the best of the best from the NFL week that was.

Week 7 NFL Awards
Expert	Offense	Defense	STeams	Coach
Freeman	Forte	Revis	Braman	JDR
Judge	Brees	Flowers	Scobee	Haley
Prisco	Murray	Woodley	Scobee	JDR
Brinson	Murray	Flowers	Scobee	Haley
Katzowitz	Murray	Flowers	Bryant	Haley
Wilson	Foster	Flowers	Scobee	Haley

Week 7 is in the books and that means it's time to hand out some awards. Oddly enough, we've got a pretty good consensus going this week, as a number of players were just so impressive that they garnered an easy victory.

Big ups to new Cowboys starting running back DeMarco Murray who wins his first-ever Eye on Offense Award. I'm sure he's slightly more excited about that than he is about breaking Emmitt Smith's single-game Cowboys rushing record.

On defense, multiple members of our esteemed panel requested the freedom to vote for Kyle Boller and Carson Palmer. Since that's not allowed, Brandon Flowers ran away with the hardware like it was a Palmer pass to the flats.

If you saw the abomination that was Monday night's game between the Jaguars and Ravens, there shouldn't be any question who won the Eye on Special Teams Award -- Josh Scobee knocked out three 50+ yard field goals and picked up the cheese from us.

And Todd Haley, the bearded wonder, has his Chiefs within one win on Sunday of creating a three-way tie in the AFC West. For that, plus blanking the Raiders on Sunday, he's your Eye on Coaching Award winner. No, we didn't see this coming either.

Leave your votes in the comments below or scream angrily at us on Twitter @EyeOnNFL.

Eye on Offense Award
Mike Freeman	Clark Judge
Matt Forte, RB, Bears You can be predictable and pick Arian Foster. Or Drew Brees. He threw for a cabillion yards and 800 touchdowns against the Colts. But it's the Colts. The way they're playing Brees could have thrown for five touchdowns on one leg while drinking a Dos Equis. I'm going with Matt Forte. He had 183 total yards against Tampa in England, mate. He's surpassed 1,000 total yards for the season already. Pay the man.	Drew Brees, QB, Saints Tim Tebow had three spectacular minutes of play; Brees had 60. So whom are we talking about now? Yeah, well, that's what happens when you win a Super Bowl and throw TD passes every week. Only this week he had six. I don't care that it was against the Colts. I care that he did it, period. Magnificent performance by a magnificent quarterback.
Pete Prisco	Will Brinson
DeMarco Murray, RB, Cowboys Murray -- He comes off the bench to rush for a franchise-record 253 yards, including a 91-yard touchdown run, so there can't be any other player in this spot. Murray is an explosive back who just might be taking the starting job from Felix Jones.	DeMarco Murray, RB, Cowboys When your first carry of the day goes for a 91-yard touchdown, you're probably going to end up with a decent statistical outing. But take away that monster run and Murray still averaged 6.75 yards a carry against St. Louis en route to his 253-yards, a Cowboys single-game record.
Josh Katzowitz	Ryan Wilson
DeMarco Murray, RB, Cowboys For a guy who had 71 career yards entering Sunday’s game vs. the Rams, Murray’s record-breaking 253-yard performance was enough to lead Dallas to a monster win, give Jason Garrett a reason to keep playing him instead of Felix Jones, and lead the man whose record he broke to give him a shout-out on Twitter. That, of course, is Emmitt Smith.	Arian Foster, RB, Texans I know DeMarco Murray went buck wild on the Rams defense but, well, it's the Rams defense. What else was he supposed to do? Arian Foster, against division foe Tennessee, had more than 100 yards receiving by halftime. He ended the day with 234 total yards (119 receiving, 115 rushing) and three touchdowns as the Texans whipped the Titans, 41-7.
Eye on Defense Award
Freeman	Judge
Darrelle Revis, CB, Jets Man crush alert. I have one. His play at CB is remarkable right now and he had another interception returning this one 64 yards. This on the heels of an INT last week that was returned 100 yards for a TD. The pick wasn't classic Revis but it was still solid and reflected how the Jets are using him in coverage. He's playing everywhere, doing everything.	Brandon Flowers, CB, Chiefs The Chiefs intercept Oakland six times, two of them by Flowers and two of them for touchdowns. Flowers had one of those scores, and it was notable because it marked Carson Palmer's first TD of the season. Give Flowers and the Chiefs credit. They were give little chance here, and they won ... with defense.
Prisco	Brinson
LaMarr Woodley, LB, Steelers Woodley had two sacks, spent the day in the Cardinals backfield, and showed why he's one of the top pass rushers in the NFL. Woodley can do it with speed or power. He's a tough one to block without help.	Brandon Flowers, CB, Chiefs Like last week, it might be fine to hand this award to Kyle Boller or Carson Palmer, but give Flowers credit for picking off two passes, taking one to the house and making three tackles in a crucial game that got the Chiefs back into the AFC West race.
Katzowitz	Wilson
Brandon Flowers, CB, Chiefs The Chiefs embarrassed two quarterbacks (Kyle Boller and Carson Palmer) and one head coach (Hue Jackson) by intercepting six Raiders passes. You could go with the collective effort of the entire Kansas City defense, but since Flowers recorded 33 percent of the interceptions, plus a pick-6, I’ll single him out for recognition.	Brandon Flowers, CB, Chiefs We could have gone with the entire Chiefs D -- or, hell, Carson Palmer and Kyle Boller for doing their part as the defensive players of the week -- but Flowers had two picks against Oakland, including a 58-yard TD return against Palmer. On the day, KC's D had six picks, and made Palmer look a lot like the guy who bumbled his way through 2010 in Cincinnati.
Eye on Special Teams Award
Freeman	Judge
Bryan Braman, LB, Texans The most unusual choice perhaps I'll ever make but I love these kinds of stories. Rookie Bryan Braman made the Houston team as an undrafted free agent.John McClain of the Houston Chronicle pointed out how Braman made two big hits that helped to set the tone on special teams.	Josh Scobee, K, Jaguars Thank goodness he was in the lineup. Otherwise, neither of these two teams might have scored until Friday. Scobee did what Sebastian Janikowski did two weeks earlier, which is nail three 50-yarders. Janikowski was my pick then, and Scobee is my pick now. I bet he's Jack Del Rio's, too.
Prisco	Brinson
Josh Scobee, K, Jaguars Scobee made three field goals from outside 50 yards and added another as the Jaguars upset the Baltimore Ravens. Scobee has not missed a field goal this season, going 14 for 14 and making all five of his kicks outside 50 yards.	Josh Scobee, K, Jaguars The Jaguars won 12-7 on Monday night and Scobee's the only reason why, belting four field goals, three of which were more than 50 yards long. His clutch knockdown of a 51-yarder with 1:43 left saved Jack Del Rio from another questionable coaching decision. He's 14/14 on the year too.
Katzowitz	Wilson
Red Bryant, DE, Seahawks The hard-headed (quite literally) Seahawks defensive end blocked two Browns field goals, and though ultimately, Cleveland won a terribly ugly game and Bryant was ejected for head-butting Browns tight end Alex Smith, that doesn’t take away from his special teams performance.	Josh Scobee, K, Jaguars He striped three field goals from beyond 50 yards  and accounted for the Jaguars' only points against a Ravens team that featured an offensive game plan crafted before the invention of the forward pass. Outside of MJD, Scobee is Jacksonville's best scoring threat, and Monday night he was their only scoring threat.
Eye on Coaching Award
Freeman	Judge
Jack Del Rio, HC, Jaguars He's going to be fired at the end of the year. He knows it. Everyone on the Jaguars does. He's been terrible this season and for the past several years the only person Del Rio hasn't fired and thus scapegoated is the owner. If Del Rio could, he'd fire him, too. But his win against Baltimore was gritty, smart and nicely done despite the ugliness of the game.	Todd Haley, HC, Chiefs Not only did he go into Oakland and pull out an improbable victory; he blanked the Raiders, the first time the Chiefs have had a road shutout since 1973. I thought Haley's coaching career was supposed to be on life support. Yeah, well, all I know is that he won his last three and can tie for first in the AFC West with a win Monday.
Prisco	Brinson
Jack Del Rio, HC, Jaguars He is clearly on the hot seat, and there had been talk of his being let do during the bye week, but Monday's impressive victory over the Baltimore Ravens changes that. Del Rio's team shut down the Baltimore offense in a 12-7 victory.  For his efforts: A trip to Houston this week.	Chan Gailey, Bills I've already spent some time apologizing to (a) Chiefs fan(s), who find their way back to .500 after Week 6, even though the teams they beat are a combined 5-16. But the only team with a winning record in that list is Oakland, and give credit for Haley coming in and whipping the Raiders.
Katzowitz	Wilson
Todd Haley, HC, Chiefs The winning streak beard continues to grow on Haley’s face, and though we saw some jokes before Sunday’s game that questioned the last time the haggard-looking Haley had bathed, there’s no doubt of the turnaround the Chiefs have made the past three weeks. Remember how Scott Pioli was on the verge of firing Haley? Well, those days are gone, after the Chiefs smashed the Raiders on Sunday.	Todd Haley, HC, Chiefs I was all set to give this to Jack Del Rio, but Brinson reminded me that not only did Del Rio challenge whether Joe Flacco stepped out of the back of the end zone, but he also chose to kick a 51-yard field goal with the Jags up by two and 1:43 to go in the game. Instead, I'll take Todd Haley, who could've been fired after the first three weeks of the season. Now, Kansas City is 3-3 after smoking Oakland 28-0. Clearly, this has everything to do with Haley's new hobo chic appearance.

Posted by Will Brinson

If you're anything like me, when you check out our Week 5 NFL Expert Picks, you're probably wondering "How do these guys make their amazing picks?" (You're also probably wondering "Who is that handsome gentleman on the far right who stormed back to tie for the lead in our expert picks?")

Well, that's precisely why we bust out the interactive infographic -- we want you to get inside the picks. As you'll notice last week, our "lock," Kansas City, won and covered. No big deal.

So you're probably wondering who's the lock this week? Well, it's the Bengals, and we don't just mean straight-up, we mean against the spread (they're plus 2.5 points) as well.

Not only is underdog maestro Clark Judge taking the Bengals -- Clark's record with dogs is impeccable -- but all our experts are on board with Cincy taking Jacksonville by storm.

Check it out yourself below and holler at us on Twitter @EyeOnNFL if you have questions or comments.



For more NFL news, rumors and analysis, follow @EyeOnNFL on Twitter, subscribe to our NFL newsletter, and while you're add it, add our RSS Feed.

Posted by Will Brinson

It's Wednesday, which means we're in the, ahem, neutral zone when it comes to the NFL week. We're far enough removed from Monday night and too far away from Sunday to really feel comfortable without our football, so we're firing up a live chat at 1 p.m. ET Wednesday with experts Pete Prisco, Clark Judge, Mike Freeman, Will Brinson and Ryan Wilson.

Want to know if Michael Vick will play? Can Tony Romo get on the field with a punctured lung? Why are the Giants such fakers? What's the deal with the Chiefs? Are the Bills for real?

All those questions, plus whatever else you want to ask, answered live below, starting at 1.



For more NFL news, rumors and analysis, follow @EyeOnNFL on Twitter and subscribe to our RSS Feed.

Posted by Will Brinson



Every week, our NFL experts will hand out the Eye on Football hardware to the best of the best from the NFL week that was.

Week 1 NFL Awards
Expert	Offense	Defense	STeams	Coach
Freeman	Brady	Revis	Ginn	Jackson
Prisco	Brady	Urlacher	Ginn	Gailey
Judge	Brady	Ngata	Ginn	Harbaugh
Brinson	Brady	Urlacher	Cobb	Harbaugh
Katzowitz	Newton	Haden	Ginn	Jackson
Wilson	Rodgers	Suggs	Trufant	Gailey

Week 1 of the NFL season is in the books and goodness, was it a week. We saw Cam Newton break the rookie record for passing yards in a debut and, not to be outdone, Tom Brady show up on Monday night and eviscerate the Miami Dolphins for the fifth-highest passing yardage total (512) in NFL history.

Oddly, that was only the second time Brady's been over 400 yards in his career. But it was just good enough to land Brady our inaugural Eye on Offense Award. Though there are compelling arguments made for other players -- Aaron Rodgers, Cam Newton -- you'll see his unreal performance on Monday night was just too much for our panel to pass up.

Scoring on defense isn't a must, but it helps too, and despite a hefty effort by Terrell Suggs and Haloti Ngata in throttling the Ravens, Brian Urlacher's 10 tackles, an interception and a fumble recovery returned for a touchdown give him the nod on defense.

Meanwhile in the special teams category, Ted Ginn mopped up the competition with his back-to-back returns in less than five minutes. We had a three-way tie for the inaugural Eye on Coaching award and while we almost ruled out the Raiders and Bills because they're the Raiders and Bills for strength of schedule purposes, we give Chan Gailey the sympathy nod here since as our boss puts it "he'll never win again."

Leave your votes in the comments below or scream angrily at us on Twitter @EyeOnNFL.

Eye on Offense Award
Mike Freeman	Clark Judge
Tom Brady, QB, Patriots He throws for over 500 yards. He wears UGG boots. He dances. No better choice. Brady makes the ordinary receiver look like Jerry Rice. The two tight ends for the Patriots both looked like Kellen Winslow.	Tom Brady, QB, Patriots First, I hear Vontae Davis tell us that Miami has the best pair of starting cornerbacks in the business. Then, I watch Brady shred the Dolphins' defense for 517 yards and four touchdowns in a lopsided game that, frankly, could've been worse. Yeah, I know, Miami's cornerbacks were suffering from the heat all night and ran in and out of the lineup. But I wouldn't blame them if they didn't want to be anywhere near that field -- not when Brady's torching an entire unit. Marvelous, marvelous performance, but typical Tom Terrific. Nobody does it better.
Pete Prisco	Will Brinson
Tom Brady, QB, Patriots I watched his 517-yard passing performance with my own two eyes. It was sensational. His ability to find open receivers and put the ball into tight spots was amazing. He hit 10 different receivers. Brady also threw a 99-yard touchdown pass to Wes Welker, changing the play at the line of scrimmage. I've seen him do some amazing things, but this was by far the best.	Tom Brady, QB, Patriots Of all the record-breaking performances we saw this weekend, it wasn't close as to which was the most impressive -- Brady disemboweled the Dolphins defense on Monday night and while it's one thing to watch a quarterback rack up yardage by chunking the ball deep, it's an entirely different thing to watch someone conduct their offense the way Brady did Monday. Two 100-yard receivers and four guys with six catches or more? Yikes.
Josh Katzowitz	Ryan Wilson
Cam Newton, QB, Panthers Obviously, he didn't accumulate as many big numbers in Week 1 as Tom Brady, and in fact, the Panthers didn't even win their game. But Newton's pro debut was better than impressive. It was outstanding. And sort of surprising. With his 422-yard performance, he shattered Peyton Manning's record for a pro debut (302 passing yards), and he destroyed Otto Graham's 346-yard total in 1950 when Graham was making his NFL debut (he previously had played in another pro league). So, obviously, Newton is much better than Manning and Graham. Ultimately, we don't know if Newton will be Carolina's savior, but we do know this: he was damn fun to watch in his first game.	Aaron Rodgers, QB, Packers It's not a particularly sexy pick after what we saw Aaron Rodgers do the the league's best defenses during the postseason in January and February, but after a four-month lockout in which the Packers admitted that they weren't holding player-organized workouts (and Rodgers was pimping auto insurance), he looked every bit the Super Bowl MVP when he stepped on the field against the Saints last Thursday. If Tom Brady was prolific, Rodgers was clinical. He completed 77 percent of his attempts for 312 yards, including three touchdowns. He also knows how to rock a 'stache, something Brady could never pull off.
Eye on Defense Award
Freeman	Judge
Darrelle Revis, Jets He gets crucial interceptions. Sure, Tony Romo gift-wrapped it but after giving up some big plays early to Dez Bryant it was Revis who clamped down on Bryant in the second half and shut down the Cowboys' biggest weapon. By the second half Revis looked like the best defensive player in the NFL. That's because he is.	Haloti Ngata, DT, Ravens People ask how the Ravens could have unraveled mighty, mighty Pittsburgh, and I tell them to rewind the videotape to the Steelers' first two series of the second half. On the first, Ngata blows up running back Rashard Mendenhall, forces a fumble and recovers it. On the second, he deflects a pass at the line of scrimmage that Ray Lewis intercepts. The guy's a load. Pittsburgh committed seven turnovers, and Ngata was a primary reason why. The Steelers had no answer for him.
Prisco	Brinson
Brian Urlacher, Bears He was all over the field for the Bears and scored a touchdown on a fumble return. But his best play was an interception of Matt Ryan. He was locked in man coverage with the back and ran stride-for-stride with him and made a great pick of the football. Urlacher was overrated at times in his career. But now that he understands the game better, he's much improved over the guy who used to get mostly with amazing physical skills.	Brian Urlacher, Bears Who would have thought the 33-year-old Urlacher could look so young at the start of his 12th season? He made an interception that was the definition of acrobatic. His recovery of a Julius Peppers-forced fumble ended up in the end zone. He also piled up 10 total tackles and continued to show that he's the motor that drives the very vanilla-painted car that is Lovie Smith's Cover-2 defense.
Katzowitz	Wilson
Joe Haden, Browns His performance was lost in the shuffle because the entire Browns defense was caught sleeping when the Bengals quick-snapped in the fourth quarter and Bruce Gradkowski threw the easiest 41-yard game-winning touchdown pass to A.J. Green you'll ever see. But Haden clearly frustrated 2011 No. 4 pick Green for much of the day. With that kind of performance, Haden will draw the opposing team's top receiver every week, and in Week 1 at least, it looks like he can handle it.	Terrell Suggs, Ravens This could go to any number of Ravens defenders but Tuggs racked up three sacks and two forced fumbles and made the Steelers offensive line look like, well, the Steelers offensive line. Suggs has now sacked Ben Roethlisberger 15.5 times in his career, more than anybody else, The only thing he didn't do Sunday was score a two-point conversion.
Eye on Special Teams Award
Freeman	Judge
Ted Ginn, WR, 49ers That noise you heard on Sunday was Dolphins fans puking. Ginn has been a lousy wide receiver but as a kick returner has long showed promise. This might be the year he becomes a star as a returner.	Ted Ginn, WR, 49ers He returned a kickoff for a touchdown. He returned a punt for a touchdown. Yet Seattle kept giving him chances.Someone please explain the logic of giving Ginn four opportunities to return kickoffs. I'm serious. The Seahawks had no touchbacks, and someone tell them the NFL just moved kickoffs to the 35. It's OK to drill the back of the end zone. Instead, the Seahawks kept feeding Ginn, daring him to beat them, and, well, he did. When San Francisco acquired him it was as a return specialist first and pass receiver second. Now I can see why.
Prisco	Brinson
Ted Ginn, WR, 49ers Ginn Jr. is playing for a new contract. He's off to a good start. He returned both a kickoff and a punt for touchdowns in the 49ers victory over the Seattle Seahawks. Just when it appeared the Seahawks were making a game of it, he ripped of the 102-yard the kickoff return and then followed it up with a 55-yard punt return for a score. Wow.	Randall Cobb, WR, Packers Cobb might face a fate worse than being struck down by lightning if he takes any more kicks out from the back of the end zone, but for one night, he was the difference maker for the Packers as they topped the Saints in part because of his 108-yard touchdown return. It might not count for this purpose that he scored on a pass, but it doesn't hurt either.
Katzowitz	Wilson
Ted Ginn, WR, 49ers My favorite part of Ginn's performance for the 49ers on Sunday -- you know, he scored on a 102-yard kickoff return and a 55-yard punt return in the span of less than a minute -- was the Twitter reaction immediately following, proclaiming that Ginn had fulfilled his entire two-year productivity quota in a single afternoon. And even if Ginn doesn't do much for the 49ers for the rest of the season, we honor his standout performance in helping lead San Francisco past the Seahawks on Sunday.	Isaiah Trufant, DB, Jets A former Arena League and UFL player, Trufant was signed to the Jets practice squad last season and elevated to the 53-man roster just before the Cowboys game. Sunday night, he was in the right place at the right time, scooping up a Mat McBriar blocked punt (courtesy of Joe McKnight) and scoring a touchdown with five minutes in the game. The play tied the score, 24-24, and moments later, Tony Romo's ill-advised interception pretty much sealed Dallas' fate.
Eye on Coaching Award
Freeman	Judge
Hue Jackson, Raiders He got the Raiders their first season-opening win in almost a decade. When the Raiders win, the terrorists lose. I'm wondering if Jackson is getting more autonomy than other recent Raiders coaches because the team's game plan looked, well, sensible.	John  Harbaugh, Ravens Talk about issues. He had an offensive line that hadn't played together. He had inexperienced wide receivers. He had cornerbacks who seemed vulnerable. And he had a quarterback who never, ever, ever beat Ben Roethlisberger. So he draws defending AFC champion Pittsburgh in the season opener and doens't just win; he wins in a 35-7 laugher. Unbelievable. The pre-game edge had to belong to the more experienced club, the team that made fewer off-season changes, and that team was Pittsburgh. Logic told us that Baltimore was an unsettled club that would only improve as the season progressed. But tell me: How do you improve on this?
Prisco	Brinson
Chan Gailey, Bills The Bills passed on taking a quarterback in the first round of the April draft because Gailey believed in Ryan Fitzpatrick. Now we know why. He threw four touchdown passes as the Bills blew out the Chiefs 41-7. The defense also did a nice job shutting down the Chiefs offense. Gailey has this good-old-boy demeanor about him, but the man knows offensive football. He has his team ready to play against the Chiefs and pulled off what many considered to be an upset.	John Harbaugh, Ravens The most impressive thing about the Ravens manhandling the Steelers was the game plan they had from the start -- and that falls on Harbaugh. They attacked on offense in an unexpected, high-powered manner and the defense just swarmed. Hell, they even had a built-in fake extra point play ready in case they needed it ... or in case they wanted to embarrass their arch-rivals on national television.
Katzowitz	Wilson
Hue Jackson, Raiders In making his head coaching debut, Jackson had his team ready to play vs. the Broncos and coached a smart game, using much of the same gameplan Oakland formulated to beat Denver last season, to lead Oakland to the 23-20 road win. It was the first season-opening win for the Raiders in eight years, and at this rate with Jackson in command, Oakland might run the entire AFC West table again.	Chan Gailey, Bills If anyone's due some recognition, it's Gailey. After suffering through a four-win season a year ago, the Bills showed up ready to play against the Chiefs in Week 1. Kansas City did not and they got rolled 41-7. Whether the Bills can keep this going remains to be seen, but for now we  salute you, Chan.

Posted by Tim Cary

(Ed. Note: Tim's our social media editor here at the Eye and he did a fantastic job of compiling the 10-best quotes from our stable of stupendous NFL writers over the past 10 days. His post -- and the collection -- is below. But, Tim, really, No. 9?)

Has there ever been a crazier time in NFL history?

CBSSports.com has been bursting at the seams the last couple of weeks as football came back with a bang – from lockout stakeouts…to the free agency frenzy…to training camps opening with half-full rosters…the NFL beat has been anything but slow since the CBA vote.

Unless reading our site is your full-time job, I can pretty much guarantee that you weren’t able to read everything our NFL staff wrote. (Actually, reading CBSSports.com is my full-time job and I’m sure I missed a story or two somewhere.)

So to help you out, we recap the wildest 10 days in NFL history (starting after the owners approved the CBA in Atlanta) with the top 10 quotes from the dozens of articles, blogs, and columns we published between July 22 and August 1.

Without further ado…

10. Story: Randy Moss retires. Hall of Fame awaits, hopes to avoid full moon on induction night.
Quote (Pete Prisco): “Once again I have to remind my righteous peers that it isn't the Life Hall of Fame. It's the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and there is no denying [Moss] should be there, no matter what you think about him.”

9. Story: Jets enlist movie star to recruit Nnamdi Asomugha. Asomugha apparently doesn’t like movies, signs with Eagles.
Quote (Will Brinson): “Is Adam Sandler really the most famous Jets fan that Ryan could call on?”

8. Story: Decade of guaranteed labor peace makes everyone except UFL commissioner happy.
Quote (Pete Prisco): “Lockout is now officially the most-hated word for NFL fans, surpassing officiating.
It's also a word that doesn't have to matter for another 10 years. By then, Peyton Manning will have broken all of Brett Favre's records, DeMaurice Smith might be running for the Oval Office and the NFL might have rules fining players just for tackling.”

7. Story: After more than a month of hearing that “a deal is close”, the deal is finally done. Merriam Webster immediately and permanently removes all synonyms of “close” from the dictionary (including “near”, “almost”, “on the verge”, “virtually”, “on the cusp”, “practically”, “imminent”, “around the corner”, “basically”, “at the brink of”, and 206 other variations).
Quote (Mike Freeman): “Do the owners and players deserve credit for saving themselves? I don't know. Does a man deserve credit for throwing himself into a swimming pool knowing he can't swim?”

6. Story: NFL owners approve deal. NFL players take their good old time. Because they can.
Quote (Pete Prisco): “After scanning the details of the NFL owners' proposal for a new labor deal, I have some advice for DeMaurice Smith.
Race to get that thing approved.
When [the deal gets done], Smith should put on the championship belt. He knocked the snot out of the owners with a nasty right hook to the head.”

5. Story: Lockout ends. Much hugging ensues. David Stern purchases new best-selling book by Jeffrey Kessler entitled “How To Decertify A Union And Still Make It Home For Lunch”.
Quote (Clark Judge): [Lawyers for the NFL and NFLPA] scored a bigger haul than Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II. Based on the billing hours accrued for over 130 days of a lockout, I figure each attorney has enough money now to make a down payment on the state of Texas.

4. Story: While NFL general managers prepare for free agency to open by consuming roughly twice their body weight in caffeine, visions of dollar signs begin to dance in agents’ heads.
Quote (Pete Prisco): “Here's one of the toughest questions facing NFL general managers and coaches as they ready for the next four weeks, which will be a virginal path the NFL has not taken in August in past years: How do you truly find out if a guy's heart pumps Kool-Aid?”

3. Story: NFL players start signing mammoth contracts. NFL punters (yes, there is a difference) start signing ridiculous contracts. The national debt expands.
Quote (Mike Freeman): "If you are an NFL player, immediately do the following: Get on a plane, train or hop inside your Lexus. Head to Washington. Best possible speed. Go inside the offices of the National Football League Players Association. Brush by the secretary. Find DeMaurice Smith. Wheel him around in his chair and kiss him. On the cheek. Mouth. Ring. Whatever your comfort level. Just kiss him.”

2. Story: As a prank, Jets coach Rex Ryan sneaks into Bill Belichick’s office and replaces 2011 calendar with 2006 version. This proves extremely successful.
Quote (Pete Prisco): "New England needed speed. Not another possession receiver. My thoughts on this [Ocho-Slow-O] trade: Child, please."

1. Story: Patriots sign “Fat Albert” Haynesworth. In related news, Bill Cosby becomes a Patriots fan.
Quote (Mike Freeman): "Belichick will have his work cut out for him. Ochocinco is difficult to harness and Haynesworth is so larded up his blood type is strawberry Pop Tart."